THE 12 STEP PROGRAM TO A SUCCESSFUL 40TH REUNION

by David Handsher

1. Realize that it does not matter what other people think of you and remind yourself of that on the way to get a haircut and while you use Mennen to take some of the grey from your beard.

2. Recognize that the reunion weekend is nothing special, but a mildly entertaining chance to catch up with a few select friends as you toss and turn, unable to sleep, the night before you fly to St. Louis.

3. Calmly take your seat on the airplane, register at the reception desk and take the elevator to your room, while scanning the face of every one you pass to see
if they are from the class of 66.

4. While interacting, do not mention the most embarrassing thing you know about
the person, even if that is the only thing you remember from high school.

5. Remember you are far away from 18, while you pretend to be 18, forgetting that you are not 18 until the following morning.

6. Learn to check people's name tags without ever losing eye contact.

7. If you run out of things to do, find Barbara and Max Reif, who are always enlightening and entertaining.

8. When they show your picture on the screen, applaud loudly without letting on that it's you doing it.

9. Pretend to be a Cardiinal fan still (go giants).

10. Don't try to catch Ricky Schainker without a glove.

11. Don't yell "fenark" when the train goes by the bird cage.

12. Continue to check out the Website when you have more important things to do.

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